Real Talks with Annie: The Power of Words

The experiences we live and the words we speak or write shape our lives and thoughts for years—even decades. Today, I want to share how seven small words impacted me for more than thirty years. This is Real Talks with Annie, and it’s a perfect example of why I write, share my poetry, and why Words We Write exists. The words we say can bring death or life. For many years, I repeated this phrase to myself—sometimes quietly, sometimes aloud to others.

✨ A Moment of Clarity

Recently, I had a moment of clarity about myself. That revelation could be a whole different topic, but the heart of it is this: I realized I had been moving through life—making decisions, isolating myself, and limiting my time with others—all because I felt a need to stay in control. I was moving in fear. Specifically, fear of the unknown.

Yes, bold and courageous Annie had a fear. A fear of what she could not see. A fear of the unknown. That realization, while painful, also became empowering. It brought me to a higher state of self-awareness. Life experiences began flashing through my mind, rushing back in overwhelming waves. I was overcome, distraught, and filled with emotion—so much so that I wanted to climb to the highest mountaintop and scream.

And all of it tied back to these seven words:

“Expect the worst, hope for the best.”

🔑 The Weight of Small Seven Words

This phrase—just seven words—had shaped me for decades. It had been a motto, a shield, and a habit I repeated over and over. I thought it was protection, but it was also a prison. The bold and courageous Annie had put herself in a box, trying to keep herself safe and ensure no one could ever hurt her again.

This phrase impacted how I walked through life. It framed my mind to continually expect something bad to happen—from wondering if I would be terminated from a job that day to accepting offers of employment I knew in my heart weren’t right for me. It trained me to live braced for loss rather than open to possibility.

It also opened the door to deep anxiety whenever I left the safety of my home. For example, every time I walked out the door, I had to know exactly where I was going, the route I was taking, and the estimated timeframe I’d be gone. Every minute was planned. When life inevitably pivoted—when something didn’t go according to the rigid script I had written in my head—I would become severely anxious and irritable.

Can you imagine how many possibilities, experiences, and connections I limited myself from living this way? Those realizations overwhelmed me during that moment of clarity. They washed over me like a tidal wave: Why have I done this to myself? Where would I be right now if I had not carried these words? What have I missed out on, all because of one little phrase?

Of course, there were other traumas in my life, and I know they didn’t help. But this phrase was the beginning. It was there before the other traumas came. Now I can’t help but wonder—did I attract some of those traumas because I was expecting them?

At the age of 13, only a few months after my mother passed away, someone I should have been able to trust instilled this phrase in me. And it stuck. It dug in deep, becoming part of how I thought, acted, and feared. Today, when I recalled this phrase, I had an even deeper revelation.

Looking back now, I see it clearly: This phrase wasn’t wisdom. It was a limitation. It was fear dressed as preparation. And it was crippling me.

📖 Breaking It Down

Let’s look at it closely:

“Expect the worst.” These words contribute volumes and totally negate the ending segment of the phrase.

These three words, in reality, cancel out the next four: “hope for the best.” Think of it like a mathematical equation: a negative times a positive will always equal a negative.

(-1 × 1,000,000 = -1,000,000)

So if I am hoping for the best, why would I also want to expect the worst? One negates the other. It’s like trying to move forward while chaining yourself to the ground.

🌱 Rewriting the Phrase

Right here and right now, I choose to rewrite that phrase:

“Expect the best in all things hoped for.”

Being prepared is wise. Having emergency plans, studying for a test, saving money, or knowing what to do in a crisis—that’s practical and logical. But being prepared is not the same as expecting failure or the worst outcome.

Preparedness empowers you. Expectation defines you. Prepared and expected are not synonyms, and confusing them can shape your whole life.

🪞 Reflections on Words We Carry

This is life: it’s full of sayings, mottos, and words passed down to us when we were young and impressionable. Or even just popular phrases we often read or hear others citing. Some of them are good. Some even sound positive at first. But are they?

I encourage you to reflect on the words that echo in your own life. Which phrases were instilled in you at a young age? Which ones have you adopted along the way? Which ones sound uplifting but may actually be limiting?

Let’s do the work of breaking them apart, piece by piece. Question them. Reframe them. Replace the ones that no longer serve us. Because words matter. They shape us. They shape our futures. They shape our thoughts. They shape our decisions.

💬 Join the Conversation

I challenge you to take some time and reflect:

• What words or phrases have you been telling yourself?

• Which ones have helped you grow?

• Which ones have held you back?

• Which ones do you need to rewrite?

  
  

Drop them in the comments below—I would love to hear from you. You never know who might need to read your story, your words, or your reflection. Just maybe my experiences were meant to share with you.

Lovingly Me,

Annie Marie 🌿

Words We Write aims to build a vibrant, inclusive online community where people can connect through shared stories and writing, fostering personal growth and healing by encouraging authentic expression and breaking social taboos.